Kids (oh wait, I meant Xander) Say the Darnest Things

So Xander is now 5 1/2. The kid that I used to swaddle, feed with a bottle and rock to sleep is now a curious kindergarten, asking millions of questions and commenting on everything he sees. And I mean, everything. I don't have answers for even half of his questions, but I try, of course. His comments though, could make me drop on the floor laughing. Really - kids his age are so innocent in their way of thinking and they say the obvious, which we adults are not aware of.

So over the years I have tried to savor all his comments, or as I call it, Xander's expressions. I know I will miss this - gosh he grows up so fast - but hey I will have another one coming soon so then I'll have another page for that kid!

Xander's Expressions

- Mommy, what about Kids Earth? (on using fabric bags as oppose to plastic bags to help the environment and "Mother Earth")
- Daddy are you texting? In the car? When you are driving?
- Yes you do Mommy, you have money in your bag - it's a card

- Mommy can you be my wife? (on why I call his Dad "Hubby")
- Mommy, you are driving Daddy nuts! But you also drive me Blueberry. or Banana.
- Mommy, can you ask your husband to give me his iPhone? (this is usually after he asks his Dad and got a no)

- I want to go to eat at a restaurant. It's more fun.
- Mommy can I see how you pee?
- How far is Los Angeles from our house? (after I explain that we live in the state of California)
- I don't want to die, I want to live forever
- Santa Clause will give to the poor people too, because besides the good list and the bad list, there is a sad list

- Why is there a heaven to go to when we die?
- I don't want to die after I become a grandpa, I want to be a daddy forever (so I don't die)
- I want boys to be pregnant with boys and girls to be pregnant with girls
- Mommy I love you 1000, and Daddy 100 (and his Dad says "Hey!")
- Mommy can you call God on the phone right now to find out (about something)?
- Mother Earth is real, and she lives here on Earth. Do you know she's under us?

- Mommy did you want a girl or a boy? I said a girl, but we got a boy and that's OK. He says, is it because Jesus is running out of girls in heaven?
- Mommy on Easter, did the Easter bunny come down from heaven with Easter eggs because of Jesus going to Heaven?
- and just last night, he asked his grandma: What year were you born? She answered, 1940. Xander says, Whoah, that was a long, long time ago. You are VERY old.